Asperger's

Well, the results are in. My youngest son has now been diagnosed with Asperger's disorder. I am not excited about that, but I knew in my heart that this was the problem. I am wondering what the near future will hold for us, what medications he will be put on and taken off of, and how he will learn to interact with everyone. My oldest son has thrived thanks to his teachers, the people he's been involved with and our home. My youngest is smart as a whip, like his brother, and does quite well on his academics, but the anger needs to be under more control. My hope for him is that his frustrations and anger become easier for him to deal with and he is happy.

Last week, when I saw Dr. Temple Grandin, the statistics of parents with an autistic child that end up divorced  were discussed. Surprisingly, the divorce rate among these couples is somewhere between 70% and 90%. I found this statistic depressing. I have been thankful that my husband and I have always been able to work through these problems together. I know if he wasn't who he is, this would not have worked. We have both been committed to these little fellows and to each other. I wonder what is wrong in the world when people lose sight of this. What happened to "in sickness or in health?" Truly, we have had our problems, but we always have talked them out.

In spite of these things, it is easy to feel alone. As much as I love him, he isn't always easy to talk to and tends to keep his feelings to himself. I know we will get through this, but it may be difficult. Thankfully, we have talked about this diagnosis, as well as a few others that we were imagining it could be, before the evaluation was complete. We were prepared in the best sense of the word. But even being prepared doesn't always help. As tough as my exterior appears to be, as soon as I could I cried, and he held me, and things were okay.

Thankful

It's been a long week, but things are okay for now.
My son's biopsy came back Negative. I'm so thankful for that.
Joseph's concert was Thursday night, and it was wonderful. We had a great deal of fun and he's totally hooked on Lewis and Clark for now.
I got to see Dr. Temple Grandin down in Branson. It was more than inspiring to see both her and her mother speak to those of us that deal with autism on a daily basis. There was a great message of hope. I also gained information that will help me in my classroom.
My son had a difficult day at school Wednesday. It took three teachers to remove him from the classroom. It is so hard to have a kindergartener that is having such troubles. I worry for him and about him. We are still awaiting his evaluation results from the Dr. for Asperger's or ADHD, or something altogether different.
I'm tired, and down today. Not sure why, just one of those things I guess. My guess is that the Adrenaline I've been on all week is dropping.

Here's hoping for a good week.

Where to begin?

There is a rich history before these wonderful boys were born. The history itself is both good and bad. The important thing is that it exists. I will delve into this history at some point, when I am interested or it is important to the current situation. For now, I will focus on the task at hand.

I have been highly worried about my children for a long time and for various reasons. My oldest child, both beautiful and kind, has autism. He was diagnosed at an early age and we have had many people work with him over the years and he functions quite well, but things aren't "typical" with him or for him. My reasons to worry for him can be contained in a long list that I won't go into now.

My youngest, also beautiful and filled with an independent personality, has been highly behaviorally challenged at school. He has been in trouble and acting out for months. Currently, he is being evaluated for a myriad of disabilities including, but not limited to, ADHD and Asperger's. More importantly, he has been sick quite a bit and recently had a biopsy on an odd mole he was born with. We are still awaiting the results.

I have deep concerns about my children. I worry about their health, their well being, and their abilities to survive as adults. I have decided to write about my worries, my concerns and my life, because I have no other course of therapy to turn to. My hope is that I feel free to express my thoughts and concerns. I want my children to grow and thrive and feel safe. I want to feel less worry and concern for them.

My children are my reasons for existing. Without them, life would feel meaningless and empty. My husband is a great wall of support for me, both loving and kind, but he keeps his feelings locked inside, making me not want to worry him with my own fears and anxieties.

I am worried, but I must remain strong. I am tired, but I must continue the battles. I am...