There is a rich history before these wonderful boys were born. The history itself is both good and bad. The important thing is that it exists. I will delve into this history at some point, when I am interested or it is important to the current situation. For now, I will focus on the task at hand.
I have been highly worried about my children for a long time and for various reasons. My oldest child, both beautiful and kind, has autism. He was diagnosed at an early age and we have had many people work with him over the years and he functions quite well, but things aren't "typical" with him or for him. My reasons to worry for him can be contained in a long list that I won't go into now.
My youngest, also beautiful and filled with an independent personality, has been highly behaviorally challenged at school. He has been in trouble and acting out for months. Currently, he is being evaluated for a myriad of disabilities including, but not limited to, ADHD and Asperger's. More importantly, he has been sick quite a bit and recently had a biopsy on an odd mole he was born with. We are still awaiting the results.
I have deep concerns about my children. I worry about their health, their well being, and their abilities to survive as adults. I have decided to write about my worries, my concerns and my life, because I have no other course of therapy to turn to. My hope is that I feel free to express my thoughts and concerns. I want my children to grow and thrive and feel safe. I want to feel less worry and concern for them.
My children are my reasons for existing. Without them, life would feel meaningless and empty. My husband is a great wall of support for me, both loving and kind, but he keeps his feelings locked inside, making me not want to worry him with my own fears and anxieties.
I am worried, but I must remain strong. I am tired, but I must continue the battles. I am...
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